See this little baby? He is nine years old now.
Birthdays bring a mixed bag of emotions for moms. It’s so much fun to see the kids so proud of getting another year older. And a little bittersweet, because THAT’S MY BABY. It’s one thing when it’s your firstborn, and another thing altogether when it’s your youngest child hitting major milestones.
A few days ago, I saw an Old Spice ad featuring a young Asian man and his mother. The commercial is part of an ad campaign called “Smellcome to Manhood”, apparently created by an ad exec with Mommy Issues. *Ahem* While it’s great to see Asians getting roles in major brand advertising, the concept as a whole is rather belittling to older women, not to mention disturbing. In the spot called “Bowl”, the son is on a date at a bowling alley with his hot white girlfriend, and then we see his thick waisted, Oompa Loompa coiffed Ma peering out from behind the pins.
“Old Spice!” she screeches, “Take a look what you’ve done!”
Then you know that machine where the bowling balls pop out? Her HEAD emerges (birth canal-like) from the opening, upon which she continues singing, “You’ve made a sexy man right out of my son!”
By the end of the 20 second spot, both of my boys had dropped what they were doing and were gathered around my laptop with their jaws agape. “What was that, Mommy?” Little Brother asked.
“Just a dumb commercial for deodorant.”
“Why do mothers always want their kids to stay little?” he pressed on. I looked at him for a moment. This was just a commercial, and kind of a crude one at that, but it was prompting some big questions from my nine-year-old.
“Who does that? Me? Grandma?”
“Just all moms. Everywhere.”
But it does play upon a common trope that even my third grader recognizes. And I think about how to explain it to him.
“Well, moms just really enjoy having little kids because they’re so cute and sweet.”
But moms also enjoy watching their babies grow up. As much as I’d love to pinch those chubby baby cheeks again, I love watching my boys grow up. I love how Big Brother rides his bike to school, and how I can have real conversations about things such as literature and science and religion — even with Little Brother. No, I can’t dress them up in matching clothes anymore, and while it’s cute to reminisce about their toddler days, I wouldn’t turn back the clock. And I want my sons to know this. Unlike the mothers in the Old Spice commercials, who are desperately, and one assumes — self-indulgently — clinging to their sons, I’m trying my best to let the apron strings loosen just a little bit each year.
So I tell my sons, “I also really like seeing you guys grow up and learning things and becoming real people.”
When my boys grow up, I don’t want them to think I’m a co-dependent old biddy chasing after them with a sweater or who’s going to go into hysterics if they don’t come for the holidays. I want to encourage them to be independent and confident and chase their own dreams. While it adds white hairs to my head, that’s not their problem. Unless it’s sky-diving. Or motorcycles. Then we’ll have to talk.
Don’t believe me about the Old Spice ad? See it for yourself…
Maybe someone ought to write to the company about the ridiculous ad. Happy year of the horse, 2014, by the way. :)
@Jean, It’s funny that you say that. I think we just too old and too female to “appreciate” this kind of humor. One male friend posted this on Facebook and the commenters, mostly younger Asian men, loved it. I know Old Spice is well aware this it’s offending some people — I think they are going for shock value.
I feel like I’m the only one who found this commercial more offensive than creepy. I am not the type of person to usually jump at the things people say and question whether it’s PC.. However, as soon as I saw this commercial, I felt that Old Spice was saying that by using their cologne, it would make even an Asian man sexy/desirable enough to attract a white female. Am I jumping to conclusions? A quick search on the net populated results of those who found it creepy but didn’t mention at all how it may have been offensive.
It was hilarious and I didn’t find it racist or offensive in anyway. Go hide in a closet, get rid or your TV, radio and internet if you are offended that easily. I give it a 10 out of 10 for humour.
(I’m leaving this comment here so people can see what kind of criticism I get) I didn’t say the Old Spice ad was racist. It’s actually sexist, albeit racially equal opportunity in its sexism.
No, what you’re saying makes perfect sense… In each commercial, there has been a white girlfriend/love interest, regardless of race of the male in the commercial and I find that very telling. I wasn’t nearly as bothered by the perception of the moms than the allusion to a white female being ideal…
Grace, as an Asian American man, you don’t know the biases between asian men and women (in America, at least). I bet if it were a white man with an asian woman you wouldn’t have even made this post. Society accepts white men with asian women more than asian men with white women. Since you are an Asian American female( apparently woth a white husband), I’m not surprised at your sad reaction. This commercial is actually helping Asian American men break from the kung fu, & nerd stereotypes. Food for thought…
I am very familiar with the different perceptions of Asian American men and women. My problem with the commercial is the way it portrays older women and mother, not anything with the way the Asian man is portrayed. Should we turn a blind eye on a commercial that borders on a misogynistic portrayal of an older Asian woman because it’s portraying an Asian man in a positive light? Or can we call out sexism while still also celebrating breaking out of racist molds?
You’re upset because something *borders* on misogynist portrayal, while the media is chock-full of examples of emasculated Asian males, from Mr. Chow (in the Hangover?) on down? I consider the fact that there is even an Asian male with a white woman in a commercial a massive, massive win for breaking the Asian male stereotype. Your critique of the older female character is nitpicking at best.
Actually, I found it sort of racist and sexist. It played on two stereotypes: the meek, emasculated Asian man who — through the power of Old Spice! — is made sexualized. Implicitly, the Asian American man is emasculated unless he has the added boost of crappy cologne. It also played on the stereotype of the frumpy, over-bearing Asian mother. Finally, it casts a young (White) woman as a prize rather than as a person, a trophy to be won to prove the masculinity of the man.
It’s an Old Spice commercial. I’m not exactly losing sleep over this, but there’s definitely some pretty straightforward racist and sexist tropes, that can be called out.
I think the far more interesting question is that which Grace raises in the post — the relationship mothers have with their children, and the struggle between maternal instinct and the need to let children grow up and become adults. I don’t have a child, but am contemplating having one some day, and appreciated Grace’s insights on how to raise children by treating them not like babies, but as individuals who will one day grow up.
When you describe the trajectory of the Asian male character, it does sound bad! I’m surprised at how many people have celebrated the portrayal of the guy, while looking the other way on the mom. And yeah, it’s a commercial for cologne!
The bigger question is when are we going to see a white woman actually kiss an Asian man on the lips in a commercial such as this one? If it was an Asian woman bowling and she had a white boyfriend, chances are they would have shown them kissing. White guy kissing an Asian girl is widely accepted by Americans; the other way around? Not so much. Especially when you are talking about areas outside of major metropolitan areas. Reminds me of the 1998 Chow Yun Fat/Mira Sorvino film, “The Replacement Killers” where the two leads DO NOT kiss! It is as if movie studio execs are afraid to show an Asian man kissing a white woman full on. Well, at least this Asian guy in the commercial got a hug from her and it is nice to see a positive role for an Asian man on a TV commercial. And as my wife points out, another interpretation is that only blond white females fall for Old Spice! LOL! Old Spice was pretty laughable cologne 30 years ago; it has not changed. As for the mom being clingy to her son, I did not get that from watching the commercial. If she had run over and hit the girl on the head, chasing her away, then I’d say she was clingy. Yeah, they could have written the mom as a better dressed, better looking character that stood to the side, smiling and nodding approvingly, saying “That’s my boy! Thank you, Old Spice” while holding it in her hand. That would take out any racial or sexual stereotype. Someone at that ad agency saw too many movies with yelling Asian mothers and thought it would be funny to use it again in this commercial; wrong. Thanks, Grace, for provoking some thoughts; I’m going back to listening to my records now and shutting off the computer. :-) Bobby