In honor of Valentine’s Day, February’s #AsianMomBloggers theme is love…
I painted this around Valentine’s Day six years ago.
“Mommy bought these stuffed animals for us because she loves us.”
I was working in my home office when I overheard Little Brother saying this in the living room. Sure, he was giving Big Brother a hard time for letting the dog chew on a small blue hippo Webkinz I had squirreled away for a future Easter basket. But Easters came and went, then the boys got so old they don’t really get excited about little stuffed animals in baskets anymore. But our puppy Amber somehow sussed it out of a shopping bag in my closet and claimed it for herself.
“She can have it!” I called out, without leaving my desk.
“Oh, you heard that?” Little Brother asked, now embarrassed.
Yes, as a work-at-home mom, I overhear a lot of things. And while I do enjoy finding presents that really suit a person or share something that I enjoy and think they also would, this dollar store stuffed animal was not one of them. But I was tickled to hear that my son recognizes that people can show love in different ways.
Growing up, my parents were not verbally effusive. They weren’t really demonstrative either. And they certainly weren’t going to buy stuffed animals or balloons. I remember going to my first Taiwanese camp in middle school. “Your parents may not say that they love you,” said a college-aged counselor, “But they show it in other ways, like working hard to provide you with a good home and paying for your college education.” I didn’t totally buy it, but that was the first time anyone had explicitly explained that there are different ways to show love. It was eye-opening in that I started to be more aware of sacrifices and gestures, and instead of looking for the words or sentimental trinkets that never seemed to show up.
Many years later, as HapaPapa and I were getting preparing to get married, we read the book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
What is your love language?
This post is part of a series created by Asian American mom bloggers sharing multicultural family stories. Keep reading to find out more…
See What Other Asian Mom Bloggers Are Saying About Love
- Maria at Bicultural Mama: 5 Girl Names Using the Chinese Word for Love
- Phyllis at Napkin Hoarder: A Six Year Old’s Love Advice
- Thien-Kim at I’m Not the Nanny – 5 Things I Love About My Family
- Stephanie at A Family Lives Here – Love is Action
- Ilina at Dirt and Noise: Imposter Parenting
Check back for links to more great posts…
I can totally relate to “my parents were not verbally effusive. They weren’t really demonstrative either.” It was just part of the culture, though as we all got older things changed and now we’re more outwardly affectionate with hugs and actually saying, “I Love You.”
Love languages are so individual. I’m grateful to learn about them and to use them with my kids. I still struggle with the miscommunication of love with my own parents. ;-)
This post reminds me of the book called “I Love You’s Are For White People” by Vietnamese American author, Lac Su. When I read that title, I could totatlly relate, growing up with Chinese, Vietnamese immigrant parents. This post brings awareness to not only different love languages, but also how different cultures and families tend to gravitate toward certain ones.
Yes, I read that book, too! I think it’s so important to recognize different love languages and patterns, because these things are so fluid from group to group and even from family to family. Thanks for stopping by.